pteadventuresfandomcom-20200214-history
Planet Sweet Palace/Transcript
This is the transcript to the Chronicles Episode "Planet Sweet Palace". Part 1: Postcards from Lord Rottenday (At the Prophet's Palace) Bernadette: Aw, yeah! This is my new home! (Runs up to a balcony) Dramatic views! (Sits on a throne) My very own throne room! (Sees a dome over the castle-like ship) Electric oxygen dome! It took them long enough, but I finally have it-- my home away from home! (Plops down on a couch) Hmm... this is a really lumpy couch. ???: Uh, Bernadette... THAT'S the couch. (Bernadette sees a couch, untouched) Bernadette: Wha? (Feels the "couch" she's laying on and gets off to see she tackled Queen Bernadette) Queenie? What are you doing here? (Helps her up) Is there something wrong in our future? Queen Bernadette: No, I just wanted to see how things were getting along. Bernadette: Oh, fine. I'm just a little tired of travelling from world to world, is all. Queen Bernadette: Well, I figured that before you have a tour of our new home, I'd let you know I found this in our room. (Hands Bernadette a small futuristic device) Bernadette: Hey, what's this little box? Queen Bernadette: Apparently, it's a collection of video postcards. Bernadette: Postcards? From who? Queen Bernadette: Why don't you open it and find out? Bernadette: Oh-kay... (Presses a button on the device that displays a holographic video screen that displays a message) Disclaimer: If, for some reason, Bernadette is not still in prison by the time she receives these postcards, let her know I bear her no ill will if she feels offended. Huh? Who would send me postcards if I was still in prison? (The screen shows an image of a smug Lord Rottenday) Oh, no... Oh, no, not him! What's HE gotta say? (Rottenday): Having a glorious time! Glad I'm not here! Hope you're enjoying MY prison sentence... while I'm free! Free as a Xird! Bernadette: I don't even know what that is! Queen Bernadette: (Pauses) You'll understand when the time comes. Bernadette: Wait, there's more. (Rottenday): Dear Divines, did it not start out that way! Void the Living Planet (One day after Bernadette's imprisonment) Rottenday: (Wearing Monster as a spacesuit) Oh, man, this is good! I'm free! Now that I don't have to go back, I just have to find me a new place to live. Hey, Monster, see if you can find any suitable planets to live on. (Monster scans for life on different planets until it comes across a familiar one where it's stated as "uninhabited") Uninhabited? Well, if this isn't my lucky day! (They land) ???: Welcome, new villain. Rottenday: Huh? Who said that? I thought this planet was uninhabited. ???: It is. (A purple ghost-like figure appears) I am Void, the Living Planet. Rottenday: Void? As in, THE Void, from the Great Universal War? Void: Yes. Any rumors you may have heard about me are only half-truths. I did not corrupt anyone, but I did influence the darkest minds of these United Universes. Rottenday: Well... I'm Professor Rodney Castor of the Greylands, better known presently as... Void: Yes. Lord Rottenday, the troubled scientist who wished to prove the Darkspawn exist, but was inadvertently corrupted by their influence. I've heard a lot about you. Rottenday: Yeah, and the rumors you heard about ME are NOT true! I don't plan on becoming a Darkspawn Lord, and there's no proof that I will be one! Void: I know. That is not how I see you. And if you don't want to be declared a Darkspawn Lord, you need to convince people not to see that side of you. Rottenday: But how? Void: Well, I'm no expert on reintegration into United Universal society, but I would start with steady finances, a well-balanced diet, plenty of exercise, and someone to love you for who you are on the inside. Rottenday: Really? Can we throw in some training on controlling my Darkspawn powers while we're at it? Void: I don't see why not. But I must ask for a favor in return. Rottenday: Okay, what's the favor? Void: Right now, you are standing in what you may call a wasteland. (Takes Rottenday and Monster somewhere) That is because when I was formed, I wasn't terraformed very well, as the only dominant features are my "eyes", the Hate Cloud Canyons... (Rottenday sees large canyon that are glowing purple) And a few miles across from them, is Brood Castle Mountain, the only residence on my entire surface. (They arrive at a volcano that holds an aged castle in the middle) Rottenday: This is a lovely place to live. Rustic, decent location, picturesque. Home sweet home. (Part of the castle crumbles) I mean, sure, it needs a little work, but it's got a good foundation. Void: It does look nice, but beware. The volcano only erupts for one week a year, so be prepared for when that time comes. Rottenday: Don't worry. I will. Does the lava make those canyons glow like that? Void: Ah, you are very perceptive. (Rottenday is taken to the bottom of one of the canyons) Do you see those crystals? Rottenday: (Sees a bunch of glowing crystals) Yeah, I see them. What are they? Void: They are ordinary crystals that you would find on Earth, but my soil also contains a long-forgotten element called Darknesium. Rottenday: Darknesium? I've heard about that. It's rare to find a pure Darknesium crystal in most worlds. Void: The people who lived on me used to know how to mine Darknesium, but they no longer possess that knowledge once they've evacuated. Rottenday: These crystals... are they...? Void: Yes. Darknesium crystals. They are common in these canyons, and can grow like other crystals found on Earth. Rottenday: Whoa, dude! Darknesium Crystals might be worth a small fortune on other worlds! Void: Which is why just one of these crystals will help you on your way. Don't worry. I have plenty to spare. Rottenday: At this rate, there's only one place I know where I can pawn one of those things... Businesa Prime. (Back to the present...) Bernadette: And if he went where I think he went, he'll probably be making bank. (She moves on to the next postcard, where Rottenday is swimming in a bank vault) Oh, no, I was right! What's he say this time? (Rottenday): I love Top Dollar City! It's like a shopping spree all year round! And somehow, it's like my bank account grows every second of every day! Businesa Prime (At Top Dollar City) Rottenday: (He's walking down the street) Top Dollar RadioShack, Top Dollar Gamestop, Top Dollar Half-Price... why name a store that in a place like this? Top Dollar HRI Block, Top Dollar Forever 21-- where's the frickin' Top Dollar Pawn Shop?! (He arrives at a pawn shop) Ah, there it is. (He enters) Pawn Shop Owner: Hey there, stranger! Don't believe I've seen you around these parts. Rottenday: I'm an outsider. I know, not surprising, right? Anyway, have I got the prize of a lifetime! Behold! (Drops a duffle bag onto the counter and takes out a decently-sized Darknesium crystal) Pawn Shop Owner: Whoa! Is that... Rottenday: That's right, my friend. By some rare miraculous chance, you see before you, a real, genuine Darknesium crystal! Straight from Void, the Living Planet! So, I'm thinking it might be worth a couple billion dollars, or maybe a trillion-- (the crystal suddenly breaks into three pieces) Ahh! Pawn Shop Owner: Well, that happened. Rottenday: Aw, man, it must've broken up when it jostled around in the cargo hold! Guess you'll have to mark it down to a couple 100 million, huh? Pawn Shop Owner: What are you, nuts?! I can't give you a hundred million dollars! (Rottenday hangs his head, disappointed) You brought me THREE Darknesium crystals, so I'm giving you THREE hundred BILLION dollars! (Gives him a large suitcase full of cash) Rottenday: YES! I figured you weren't a cheapstake who'd refuse to pay for a broken crystal! (Pause) Sorry, was that out loud? (Montage: Rottenday puts away some of his money to Costala and goes out shopping for outfits, furniture, and appliances, then later swims in the Uni-Vault in joy, before getting arrested and slapped with a restraining order.) (Back to the present...) Bernadette: So he trades in a crystal from Void and ends up a billionaire. Big deal! My royal family can make that money in, I don't know, the next few years or so. Next card. (She moves on to the next postcard, where Rottenday has engorged on food and gained some weight, and is standing next to a girl fatter and taller than him) Hey, Queenie, look! He's hanging out with someone huge and fat! Just like I'm doing. Queen Bernadette: Oh, come on. I'm not THAT fat. Let's read further. (Rottenday): Just chilling out with my new girlfriend, Callie. She's a really sweet gal once you get to know her. She decided to come with me to represent universal ties with Vorach. Bernadette: Vorach? THAT butterball of a planet? Oh, I can't wait to see where this one leads. Vorach Rottenday: (Void arrives outside of Vorach) Wha... Void, where are we? Void: We're just outside of the planetary system where Vorach is. Rottenday: Vorach? The one with all those huge fat people? That doesn't really seem like my style. Void: Trust me, getting food for free here will be less expensive than going to the store. Rottenday: It'll probably be more of a hassle, though. Besides, I'm rich, so going to the store isn't so bad. Void: Oh, suck it up and get on that planet. Rottenday: Okay, okay. (Uses his powers to warp over to Vorach) Now, if I were an oversized gluttonous oaf, where would I go to get free food? (Looks around, and sees there is literally food everywhere) Oh, duh. (Picks out some food, then hears someone crying) What's that? (Goes into a grove of trees and sees a huge woman sobbing) Uh, excuse me... why are you so upset? ???: Oh, my boyfriend left me for some fatter bitch! Rottenday: Ooh, I know how that feels. (Takes her arm and holds her hand) Don't worry, maybe you'll find someone else. (Rubs her hand) Golly, what large hands you've got. (The woman looks over to him) I bet you hear this all the time with other guys, but you must moisturize daily or something, because this flab is really soft. And do I smell vanilla? Woman: Well, I was baking a cake for him, and I splashed vanilla extract on my hand. I ended up eating it whole when I saw he cheated on me. Rottenday: Ah, forget that guy. Take it from an outsider like me, you're a strong independent... (The woman stands up, feeling better) GIRL Vorachan! Oh, yeah-- I mean, of COURSE you're a girl Vorachan, 'cause you're just swollen... with feminine beauty! Woman: Oh, you are so sweet! (Laughs) My name's Callista, but my friends call me Callie. Rottenday: Nice to meet you, Callie. I'm Rodney. Callie: So, you say you're an outsider? Welcome to Vorach! Why don't I take you to my family, and we'll get you a nice home-cooked meal? Rottenday: Sure. (At Callie's house) Callie: Ma, Pa! I'm home! ???: We're in the dining room, sweetie! Callie: I made a new friend! (Leads Rottenday into the dining room) Rodney, this is my family; my mom Lucy... (a woman twice as tall and fat as Callie is seen) My dad Kris... (A fat man a few inches shorter than Callie is next to Lucy) My brother Derren... (A young adult slightly fatter than Callie is next to Kris) And this is my little sister, Lucy Junior. (A large child is sitting at the opposite end of the table, eating messily) She likes to be called "Little Lucy". Little Lucy: Hi! Rottenday: Wow, big family. Callie: You think she's big now, she's only 6 1/2 years old-- wait 'til she hits puberty. Little Lucy: Mommy, I want Callie's new friend to rub my belly! Lucy: Only if it's okay with him. Rottenday: Uh, okay. (Little Lucy pulls her big belly out from under the table) Whoa. All right, here we go. Derren: Uh, Callie... a word? (Callie and Derren walk outside the dining room) Callie: Uh, what's going on, Derren? Derren: There's something I don't like about that guy. Callie: Well, he just happened to come by after Hugo cheated on me. Derren: Well, I saw that coming. Still, doesn't he looks familiar to you? Like someone we saw on the news once? Callie: Well, now that you mention it... Lucy: Callista, come help me in the kitchen! Your new friend is as thin as a promise! Callie: Coming, Mom! (Later that night...) Rottenday: (Wakes up in the dining room, strapped to a chair) Huh? Wh-where am I? (Sees three blobbish shapes in the dark) ???: We know who you are... Lord Rottenday. (Callie, Derren and Little Lucy reveal themselves) Little Lucy: You're a bad man, Rodney. Rottenday: Callie? What's the meaning of this? Callie: Sorry. I didn't want to have to do this, but I remembered watching your trial on the news. Derren: And unless you don't want us to tell the police, or the High Council, then there's only one thing to do. Rottenday: A-and what's that? Callie: (Brings out a big batch of food) We're gonna fatten you up. Rottenday: (Pause) What? This isn't about wanting to make me your husband, is it? I heard enough of that from Big Lucy. Callie: Trust me, you'll make a great boyfriend. But the point of this is to fatten you up a whole lot so no one will recognize you. Derren: Well, anyway, the idea isn't to convert you to our standards. You're probably gonna want to lose weight whatever we do. Callie wanted to hide you from the public eye until things cool down. (One month later...) Rottenday: (He's gained a noticeable amount of weight, but he's still not as fat as Callie) I can't believe how well this is working! All this weight I packed on, and no one seems to know it's me. Callie: Well, we're not out of the woods quite yet. Pretty soon, you'll have to go back to your home world and-- (Gasps) It's one of my friends! Let me do the talking. (A top-heavy girl walks over to the two) Hi, Lindsay! Lindsay: Hey, Calorie, nice job feeding that new boyfriend of yours! His belly's looking pretty big. Callie: Is it? I hadn't noticed. And how's Gorge doing? Lindsay: She's doing great! I love hanging out with that big girl! (Suddenly, faint horns are heard) It's time. Callie: It's time. Rottenday: Time for what? (At a huge church) Rottenday: (He and Callie are standing in a crowd full of Vorachans) Man, even with this new body, I feel so crowded. Uh, what's this occasion about, Callie? Callie: You'll see. Priestess: (A huge priestess walks up to a podium) When each of us comes of age, we are gathered here to choose who we will bond with for the rest of our lives. Some of us prefer the same gender... (A male couple is seen) Others start the usual family. And some of us prefer someone thinner or fatter than the other. Let us begin. Lindsay Love, please step up to the mantle. (Lindsay steps up to the priestess) You may now choose who you want to be your partner. Lindsay: Oh, boy... I choose... Georgina Biggs to be my partner! (A huge black woman runs up to Lindsay and hugs her) Georgina: WHOO, BABY! I knew all those feeding session together would pay off! (The two girls kiss) Rottenday: (Dubbed as Greg Universe) Wait a second. Is this some kind of MATCHMAKING THING?! Callie: I know, isn't it exciting?! Priestess: Callista Belladonna, please step up to the mantle. Callie: Guess I'm up. (walks over to the priestess) Priestess: (whispers) You nervous? Callie: (whispers) Delighted. Priestess: You may now choose who you want to be your partner. Callie: (Looks over the audience) Well, I don't know... I choose... Rodney Castor... (Rottenday is shocked) to be my partner. (The audience murmurs as Rottenday walks up) Man #1: Do you know a Rodney Castor? Woman #1: Not really. Is he perhaps an outsider? Rottenday: (Steps up to the mantle next to Callie) Thank you, Callista, for choosing me as your partner. (Turns to the audience) Everyone... the entire month that I've spent here, I've come to know your planet better. But this whole ceremony is just so sudden, and I'm sure you're all talking amongst yourselves about this, so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. (clears throat) I'm the Rodney Castor you heard about. I'm Lord Rottenday. (Long pause) Man #2: We know! Callie and Rottenday: Huh? Woman #2: What, you thought a couple hundred pounds would hide your identity from us? Big Lucy: I knew who you were from the moment you came into my house! Georgina: Seriously, girl, whaddya take us for? (The audience laughs) Man #3: We may have more blubber than brains, but we're not stupid! Callie: (Laughs nervously) This is so embarrassing. I must've ruined the whole ceremony for you guys, huh? Priestess: No, dear. If anything, the revelation shows us there is good in everyone, even Universal Public Enemy #1. Callie: Thanks, Grandma. Rottenday: "Grandma"? Kris: (Walks up to the priestess) Are you really gonna let her be engaged to him, Ophelia? Priestess (Ophelia): Well, he hasn't attacked us, although he may eventually. (To Rottenday) Still, there's also the matter of your departure, Mr. Castor. Our leaders have spoken, and they agreed not to inform the High Council of this, if you do them a favor. Rottenday: And what's that? Ophelia: They agreed to let you go and take one of our people as a representative of our fine world. And seeing how you have been chosen by my granddaughter, I guess you could say we found the perfect candidate. Rottenday: Really? Sweet! Callie: I'll even let you lose weight. Ophelia: Just don't make her do anything she'll regret. Rottenday: No worries, ma'am. I won't. (The next day...) Rottenday: (He and Callie arrive with Monster on Void) Well, here it is; my home. (Pause) Okay, there's not much of a view, but at least you'll feel comfy. Callie: I don't see why you would have to live here all alone. Rottenday: Well... I wasn't exactly living alone. (Void's spirit form appears) Void: You... are lucky I put up with solitude for millennia, otherwise I would've had to confined to my surface. Rottenday: I know, Void. Callie: (Laughs uneasily) Oh, what did I just get myself into? (Back to the present...) Bernadette: I mean, yeesh, that sounds like a PR nightmare waiting to happen. (She moves on to the next postcard, which has an animation of Rottenday losing weight as he jogs) And now he's jogging! Say, where is he, anyway? Queen Bernadette: Ah, Athleticus. So lovely this time of year. Athleticus (On Athleticus) Rottenday: Yeah, hi, I would like to apply for a planetary gym membership. Receptionist: And what about the lady here? Callie: Oh, I'm not applying. I'm here for emotional support. Is that all right, dear? Rottenday: Well, feel free to join me if you want, my lovely pumpkin. Callie: Maybe I will. (She giggles) Rottenday: (to the receptionist) She's my fiancée. Receptionist: Bless you for coming out in public. So that's two adults and one child. Rottenday: That's correct-- wait. Child? (They look around to see Little Lucy behind Callie) Receptionist: This one IS yours, right? Callie: Oh, uh, actually, this is my little sister. Rottenday: Yeah, she's, uh, gonna be my future younger sister-in-law. Receptionist: Well, if you will just get fitted into your Athleticus-brand track suits, your membership can get started. (In the gym...) Callie: Lucy, what are you doing here? Don't you know three's a crowd? Lucy: Oh, come on, Callie! I never get to do anything with you. Rottenday: Actually, this could be a good opportunity. If a child is working for us, people might take it easier on us. Of course, when I say us, I mean me. Callie: Well, in any case, you stay with her while I go call our parents. I'll be right back. (Walks off, and Rottenday sees Little Lucy bobbing up and down) Rottenday: I don't know if this is any small consolation, Luce, but you look kinda cute in that tracksuit. Your belly's bouncing like you gotta... (Little Lucy whines) Oh... (Outside the bathrooms) Callie: (Rottenday is waiting outside the bathroom) Okay, I just called Mom and Dad, and they're... surprisingly cool with her staying with us. Uh, what's going on here? Rottenday: Little Lucy had to go to the bathroom, but I think she's having trouble. And I don't blame her-- these track suits are skin-tight! Callie: (Sighs) She couldn't wait to go before she put it on. (Goes into the bathroom) ???: Excuse me. (A slim young woman approaches Rottenday) Woman: You look like a soul who is spiritually lost. Rottenday: Uh, no, not really. Woman: Well, I'm sure you can find your inner peace, if you'll just come with me... ???: Oh, fuck THAT noise! (A younger, muscular girl runs in) Girl: This guy needs to lose some weight, is what HE needs to do! Yoga isn't the answer to everything, Yolanda! Woman (Yolanda): Peg, you and I both know we agreed that I would instruct yoga and you would be a fitness instructor. Girl (Peg): I know, but you keep going on about "inner peace" and "complete relaxation", no one will be in peak condition. That's what Athleticus is all about, isn't it? Yolanda: yes, but it's also about getting exercise where it really matters. Peg: Oh, here we go again! Callie: (Arrives with Little Lucy) Hey, HEY! Break it up! if you're going to exercise your way, do it on your own side! Yolanda: Very well. Sorry you had to see that. Good day. (Peg and Yolanda leave) Rottenday: Callie, I swear, I just met them. Callie: Don't worry, Rod. As long as we get a little exercise along the way, that'd be just fine. (Montage: Rottenday is shown to be jogging, lifting weights, and doing all sorts of exercises to lose the weight he gained on Vorach) (Later...) Rottenday: Well, I'm feeling better than ever. Callie: I know. Little Lucy and I may have to eat quite a bit to gain back the weight we lost along the way. Rottenday: You know, I wouldn't expect anything else from-- (Gasps as they see some police officers surrounding the gym) ???: This is the Zephyr Rangers. Come out slowly, with Lord Rottenday in plain sight. Rottenday: Great. A police force. What are we gonna do? (Peg and Yolanda arrive) Oh, good, am I glad you're here. Why are these "Zephyr Rangers" here? Yolanda: It's for your own good. Peg: I swear, I didn't tell her. Rottenday: Should have known. Yolanda was too much of a goody two-shoes yogi weakling for her own good. Yolanda: I had a feeling you were the infamous Lord Rottenday. My brutish sister may have kept your secret for this long, but you won't escape imprisonment so easily. Rottenday: Well, then... it was nice meeting you. But before I go out there, I have one thing to say. (Puts a Ruer's cloak on Yolanda) Go out and get some sun! (Pushes her out the door and watches her get arrested by the Zephyr Rangers) Lucy: I'm glad you didn't get arrested, Rodney, but... that was kinda mean. Rottenday: Hey, she called the cops on us. It was her or me. (Opens a dark portal) Now let's get back to Void. Peg: Got room for one more? You could use a personal fitness trainer. Rottenday: Oh, why not? (Peg follows them in) (Back in the present...) Bernadette: Oh, good. He lost all that weight he put on, and got him a personal trainer. Ha! I do all my training by myself. (The device beeps) Hmm? Robot voice: The next few postcards take place a year before Bernadette Willows was released from prison. Please turn the disc over to Side B. Bernadette: Oh, so these postcards are on a DVD, huh? (Opens the device up and flips a DVD disc over, then plays it, revealing an image of Rottenday, wearing a speedo and flirting with multiple bikini-clad girls on a beach, while Callie, Peg and Little Lucy are in the background, somewhat amused) Oh, NOW look at him, with the swimsuits, and the girls, and the nice warm sun! So, what's he got to say? (Rottenday): Dude, this sands are babelicious! I am so amped! These girls are nectar! Bernadette: Wait, that looks like.. Laxia. Eh, I guess it's as good a place as any. Moving on. Laxia (One year before Bernadette's release) ???: (Callie and Rottenday are seen sleeping as his bedside clock turns to 7:55 am) Good morning, everyone. It is now 5 before the hour of 8 a.m. on Void the Living Planet. Weather today calls for partly cloudy skies, which is good news depending on whether you prefer the light, and it looks like a perfect day to relax, or maybe... (Peg is revealed to be standing next to the night stand) Peg: Pull back some of that flab that's pushing your husband out of the bed! Get up, lovebirds! (Blows an airhorn, surprising the other two) Rottenday: (He is seen using Callie's belly as a punching bag) I don't think we signed up for a wake-up call, Peg. Peg: Hey, less talk, more pain! Rottenday: Callie, doesn't this hurt? Callie: (unenthusiastic) We Vorachans are as durable as we are heavy, dear. (At the dining room) Peg: (Rottenday is seen eating breakfast) Come on, eat that stuff! Vengeful villains don't skip breakfast! Little Lucy: (Now looks older and bigger) "Vengeful"? We haven't really done anything since Callie's wedding. Peg: Hey, breakfast is the most important meal, butterball! (Outside the castle) Peg: (Rottenday is seen jogging around the base of the volcano) Okay, Roddy, let's go! Rottenday: I'm lucky this isn't the week the volcano erupts! Peg: Yeah, otherwise you'd never outrun the lava! Feel the burn, boy! (In Rottenday's throne room) Rottenday: Oh, man... (Plops down on his throne) Callie: (sighs) I can't believe this. Peg: Yeah, I think I got him on the right workout path. Callie: Not you! This! We've been living on Void for over three years! Rottenday: That's because... I just don't know if I should trust everyone I meet. Callie: Well, we may have had great luck with our wedding back on Vorach, but since then we've been nowhere! Void: (Appears in the throne room) If I may interject, I think you guys just have cabin fever. Even though I'm a living planet, I don't stay in a solar system for a long time. Rottenday: Well... we could use a vacation... and I think I know just the place. (Later, Void arrives outside of Laxia) Callie: Laxia? The Paradise Planet? How will we be safe there? Rottenday: Hey, lots of outsiders come on this planet to relax, and that's what we're gonna do. As long as we don't make it obvious that I'm a bad guy, they'll have nothing to worry about. And so... (Removes his cloak, revealing that he has a slender muscular body and wearing a black and purple speedo) Time to hit the beach! Peg: Whoa... my training really HAS paid off! Callie: Rodney, how long have you been wearing that? Rottenday: Since last night. (Later...) Rottenday: (Monster drops Rottenday and the girls off not far away from a nearby beach; Rottenday comes out first and looks around) Okay, the coast is clear. (Peg comes out in a Olympic-style diving swimsuit and Little Lucy comes out in an orange one-piece swimsuit) ???: Rodney, I'm not coming out! I feel ridiculously huge! Rottenday: Oh, come on, Cal, you look great. (Callie comes out in a bikini) Callie: You do know this bikini was from our honeymoon. Then again, we are taking a vacation. Rottenday: Now, when we get to the hotel, Monster will drop off our bags, then it's two whole days of rest and relaxation away from home. Little Lucy: (Adjusts her swimsuit and puts on a purple and red cover-up) Okay, but if I have to wear this dorky cover-up, the all-you-can-eat buffet better include desserts. (One day later...) Rottenday: (He and the girls are relaxing) Ahh... see? What'd I tell you? Trip to Laxia equals instant vacation. Callie: I still can't believe Little Lucy nearly cleaned out the dessert table. Little Lucy: And I still can't believe Peg ran the people in the hotel's gym ragged and got stuck with pool jail even after the pool closed. Peg: I'll be smelling like chlorine for a week. Rottenday: Yeah, nothing like relaxing by a beachside resort, eh? Callie: Yeah... although I can't help but feel that we're being watched. Rottenday: (Looks around and sees some women checking him out) Ladies, don't look now, but I think I got some admirers. Dedoralyvia (Bernadette): Now what? Rottenday: As long as I was visiting Dedoralyvia, I ran for governor... and won by a landslide, fair and square! (Bernadette): OH, COME ON! Who's ever gonna believe that? (Queen Bernadette): Perhaps if we read further, it might shed a little light on the subject. Spooksilon (Bernadette): He's rich, helping out a Vorachan create ties with other worlds, gets plenty of exercise, became a governor on another world besides Void, and has a bunch of girlfriends?! How else can he torture me?! (Queen Bernadette): How about Spooksilon? (Bernadette): People there probably mistake him for a native. (Queen Bernadette): As a matter of fact, he's almost a dead ringer. Conflictus (Bernadette): Oh, no, what now? Rottenday: My next stop is Conflictus, where they are celebrating the anniversary of their ban on nuclear weapons. Chocolova-9 Bernadette: (Pause) Are you fricking kidding me?! He goes to Conflictus, and he doesn't seize the opportunity to steal their nuclear weapons and use them for himself?! I don't know how much more of these things I can take! I... wait... there's one more card. (nervously) What's it say? (Rottenday): Since Callie and Little Lucy were being such good girls, I decided to treat them to a little something on the planet Chocolova-9. Part 2: The Prophet's Palace Tour ???: Welcome to the amazing, the palatial, the posh palace of a thousand heroes! Bernadette: Huh? Who? (A holographic butler appears) Butler: You, my fair lady, are now the proud owner of the veritable spaceship of luxury! Bernadette: And who are you? Butler: I, Virgil, the Voice of the Castle, am here to guide you through your incandescent abode of astonishing marvels. Bernadette: Okay, cool. Virgil: This ship, you know, is quite a desirable property, especially when I tell you by whom it was funded; none other than The Universal High Council! Yes, the legendary, the illustrious... Bernadette: Really? The High Council. How about that-- WAIT!! The Universal High Council, the ones who are always asseverating about keeping the United Universes safe?! Virgil: "Asseverating"? Bernadette: It's a royal expression. Hallway of Dimensions and Doorways to Hospitality Virgil: First, the fabulous Hallway of Dimensions, with its plentitude of ornate, priceless, outstanding pieces or art... including some caricatures from your old home in the Greylands. Bernadette: Boy, get a look at this. These must've cost a lot. I don't believe how priceless these painting are! (Sees a caricature of herself with huge hips) Okay, now I believe it. Virgil: And beyond that hallway, the Doorways to Hospitality, where behind each one is a guest room for all heroes who wish to stay in this castle. Bernadette: I hope we got enough. (Sees a reserved room and reads a sign) "Reserved for the hero who wields the Tome of Skylands." Okay. Dining Room and Kitchen (Coming soon...) Spa Virgil: Next on our tour is the lulling, allaying, calming and exfoliating spas. (Coming soon...) Bedroom (Coming soon...) Garden (Coming soon...) Epilogue (In a realm of clouds, The One Who Is Above All (God (Noah's Ark 2007 version)) approaches his Angel with a laptop) God: Look at this. (Pulls up The Total Drama Gang's Adventures Wiki) It's an adventure series starring the children of Total Drama. It establishes wonderful character development. (Pulls up MovieManMDG's webpage for The Ultimate Ed Chronicles) And this one stars the Eds. It has multiple seasons planned in advanced, and just look at the lineup. So, when will this one be ready? Angel: Well, sir, we're just at the beginning. They're the first episodes. We really need something to catch people's interest. God: You don't think the war is enough? Angel: I don't know if we can keep our readers' attention. Plenty of action is good to have, but we should have a little more drama. Category:Transcripts Category:Incomplete